On Top of A Bridge

Rushing water flows below

Begging her to just let go

Flying is an easy thing

Except for when

You don’t have wings


Do You Really Know?

I don’t wanna cut

But I feel like I need it

To make me somewhat happy

Or at least feel alive

Why do I feel this way?

Why can’t I be normal?


I want to calm down

I want to talk to someone

But I don’t know how

My anxiety takes over

And my mind just shuts down


I feel like I’m drowning

With my feet on solid ground

I want my life to end

But I’m not ready for goodbye


Is this all that life is?

Constant pain and darkness

Is there more than broken feelings

And the need to be alone?


Are people actually happy

Or is it all for show?

Do you feel alive?

Do you really know?


Take a minute

Take a breath

Look at your life

Are you satisfied?


Do you love

What you do?

Or do you do

What you must?


Is your life

Like a dream?

Full of happy

Beautiful things?


Do you feel

Like you’re worth

The time you have

Upon this earth?


Do you fill

The world with joy

Through your smile

And happy hugs?


Or do you feel

The opposite

And wish to change

The life you live?


Do you hate

Those who hurt you

In the past

Or by mistake?


Is your life

A nightmare

With sleepless nights

Full of tears?


Do you feel

The emptiness

Of apathy

And loneliness?


Do you fill

The world with pain

Through your refusal

To change your ways?


Is this what

Your life looks like?

Either way

It is your choice.


Now breathe out

And make your choice

A happy world

Or sad demise?


She can’t remember happy days

Before real life got in the way

The memories of people lost

Have left a hole within her heart


Shadows gather on her face

The smile is tight around her eyes

The steady beat within her chest

Is growing weaker by the day


Her mind is far from lasting peace

Which she left so long ago

The time is wearing at her grace

Each day she’s left more worn


Perhaps some day she will look back

And long to fix her past mistakes

For now she’s drowning in her ways

Lost within a haze of pain


Her spirit pushes at her now

Begging for a chance to change

She does not listen to it though

Much too little, far too late


The blood is rushing from her wrist

The bottle of her happy place

Lies empty on the floor

The rope is ready, taunt and high


The end is here, a choice to make


There was chaos all around her

The constant motion of living beings

Alone in her own world

She felt like she lived on an island

A place unknown to the world

Very few had every ventured onto it’s shores

And no one lived there anymore


Her isolation grew

Because she refused to pursue

The care of people who didn’t

She would not succumb

To the overwhelming storm

The need to behave

Like sheep in a herd

She would stay by herself

On her island she would remain


But slowly she died

Of her own apathy

And refusal to think

“The world needs me”

Her body decayed

As her mind took it’s toll

Alone on her island

Unknown by the world


But she couldn’t see

Or wouldn’t believe

The walls that she built

Were all crumbling

And the people outside

Were trying to save

The girl who survived

Away from real life

Alone on her island


When the walls were all gone

Her kingdom exposed

A land of remorse

And should have done more

The people all asked

“Why they hadn’t seen”

And everyone said

“She was so close to me”

But it was too late for her

Her body would lay

Til the end of all days

Alone on her island


  The whole world was red. It was everything surrounding me and controlling me. My vision was dark and my heart beat was slow. But all I could feel was red. Flowing red, shining like a ray of light, the red was everywhere. My hearing was the first sense to come back. I could hear the sound of my heart beating slowly and weakly. A gasp of breath filled my ears. It took me several moments to realize that it was my breath. It seemed so strange to know that the pained gasp came from my lungs. The air conditioner was running, and the hum became background noise in the chaos of my mind. The air was cold, and I could feel the warmth leaving my body.

      I could not focus. My thoughts were sluggish like a wounded animal. Yet everything was still red. The smell hit me next. Metallic and salty, the smell smothered me with its presence. The air was full of the stench, and the stench was choking me. My whole life was red. I could faintly smell the air freshener that I had put in my room. The smell of cherry blossom was buried under the stench of red.

My vision came back slowly. The black spots faded one at a time. My room looked the same as it always had, but the atmosphere was different. There was something different in the air. I looked around my dark gray room trying to figure out what was wrong. A flash of silver on the floor caught my sight. To my slightly blurry vision it looked like a razor blade, half covered in the red.

      The truth hit me like a lightning bolt. The truth of what I had done. The red that had become my world was blood. It was my blood surrounding me and smothering me. The feeling of my body came back to me next. Pain became my world. Everything became an overwhelming sense of hurt. It was not the pleasant hurt I had come to expect. It was not the pain that had controlled my life for so long. It was true pain. It felt like the world was ending, and for me maybe it was. Perhaps this was the end for me. I felt like I was drowning with no one there to save me. No one ever told me that death hurt so much. The stories made it sound so glamorous. It was all a lie. Death hurt worse than anything I had ever felt. More than all the heart-break I had felt in the few years of my life. Unending, like the ocean, the pain kept pulsing through my body.

      I gazed at my wrist which was the origin of all the pain. The straight white lines that I had been so

proud of seemed to mock me. All I could think was why? Why did I do this to myself? It was hard for me to believe that I had thought the world was so terrible. All I wanted now was to live. To see the future I could have. A realization hit me; I would never turn eighteen. I would never get married nor have any children of my own. This thought filled me with an overwhelming sense of regret. The life I hated was a wonderful gift and I destroyed it. There was no saving me now; it was already too late for me.

      That was when I heard a new noise. It was a sound that filled my heart with hope. It was the sound of a siren; the siren of an ambulance. Astoundingly, help was on the way. Maybe my life was not over. The constant mantra in my mind was, “Keep holding on. They are almost here. Just hold on for a bit longer and you will be okay.” Although I could still feel my life slipping away, I held on to the miniature piece of hope I had.

      I heard the oak front door of my house crashing to the ground, and I thought I was saved. Yet my heart beat ever slower; my breathing became even more pained. The darkness slowly started to cover my vision. My last piece of hope slipped from my feeble grasp. The door to my room burst open and the paramedics rushed in. Unfortunately, they were too late. The breath left my lungs with a tiny gust. The last thing I saw before the darkness took over my mind was the look of sadness on the paramedic’s face.

      John paused for a moment to catch his breath, “This book is so intense,” he thought. “I hope it ends

well.” At this point, John happened to look up, and he noticed the time on his small digital clock. “Shoot. I really need to get some sleep,” he thought drowsily . “I will finish this tomorrow.” John sleepily put the book on his night stand and turned off his bedside lamp. Immediately, he started to drift off into the land of dreams. His last conscious thought was, “I hope she lives.”