Society

Look in the mirror

Don’t like what you see

Decide to change

Become like everybody

Learn how to use

Makeup to change

What people see

Slowly becoming

More mainsteam

Day by day

Stop eating food

Need to be a size 2

Get your weight down

Your head in the clouds

Start drinking beer

Want to fit in

Can’t stop it now

Because you’re addicted

Learn how to fuck

Does it feel good?

Don’t really care

As long as someone’s there

Now you’re all broken

But at least you fit in

The world is your playground

But you no longer care

Friendship

Friendship

What does it mean

To you?

 

Friendship to me

Is more than a word

More than a mere thought

Or a simple feeling

 

Friendship is

The one who answers

All your calls

The one who knows

All your flaws

 

Friendship is

The one you always

Wish to see

The person who makes you

Truly happy

 

Friendship is

The one who takes

Your dark clouds

And turns them into

Bright, sunny days

Or brings an umbrella

And chooses to stay

 

Friendship is

The one who never

Leaves you alone

In your apathy

Or tries to change

Who you are

At your core

 

Friendship is

A lot of things

But in the end

At least to me

It boils down

To one simple thing

 

Friendship to me

Is you

Do You Really Know?

I don’t wanna cut

But I feel like I need it

To make me somewhat happy

Or at least feel alive

Why do I feel this way?

Why can’t I be normal?

 

I want to calm down

I want to talk to someone

But I don’t know how

My anxiety takes over

And my mind just shuts down

 

I feel like I’m drowning

With my feet on solid ground

I want my life to end

But I’m not ready for goodbye

 

Is this all that life is?

Constant pain and darkness

Is there more than broken feelings

And the need to be alone?

 

Are people actually happy

Or is it all for show?

Do you feel alive?

Do you really know?

Breath

Take a minute

Take a breath

Look at your life

Are you satisfied?

 

Do you love

What you do?

Or do you do

What you must?

 

Is your life

Like a dream?

Full of happy

Beautiful things?

 

Do you feel

Like you’re worth

The time you have

Upon this earth?

 

Do you fill

The world with joy

Through your smile

And happy hugs?

 

Or do you feel

The opposite

And wish to change

The life you live?

 

Do you hate

Those who hurt you

In the past

Or by mistake?

 

Is your life

A nightmare

With sleepless nights

Full of tears?

 

Do you feel

The emptiness

Of apathy

And loneliness?

 

Do you fill

The world with pain

Through your refusal

To change your ways?

 

Is this what

Your life looks like?

Either way

It is your choice.

 

Now breathe out

And make your choice

A happy world

Or sad demise?

The Cycle

It’s always the simplest things that set it off. Today it was merely scratching my leg. No big deal, just a simple itch. But I wanted so much more. I wanted to run something much sharper than my fingernails down the side of my leg.

That brief feeling of pain was all it took. I wanted so much more. It hinted at that amazing feeling that I knew lied with sharp objects.

The pain brought clarity. A moment when the world and your mind stop screaming. For no more than ten seconds all the pain, anger, and sadness is gone. All there is is pain.

The whole world is reduced to one simple feeling. A base emotion. Nothing complex or heavy. Merely pain.

Pain is human. It’s natural. Or so I try to tell myself.

The problem is the pain never lasts long. So you need to cut again. And then there’s ten more seconds of clarity.

But that fades as well. So you cut again and again, hoping to keep that feeling forever but it never lasts.

And you look down and there’s blood everywhere. And then it starts to sting. And you wonder if you did too much this time. You refuse to believe that and just soak up more of the pain.

For the next few days the slightest movement causes a beautiful agony. But that to starts to fade. And you need a fresh cut to keep moving. Fresh pain to push you through the day.

And so the cycle continues.

Scars

My scars are my story

they tell the tale of all the battles I have fought within my mind

they show the choices I have made

the choice to survive however I had too

the decision not to give up

each scar was a choice

the debate between stopping or continuing

between going deeper or settling for a scratch

digging for the vein or being satisfied with a few droplets of life-giving red

 

my scars show my pain

and how much it affected me

they show how far I’ve come

and how far I still have to go

 

I may have scars

more than I can count

some fading into my past

some signs of recent battles

but I am still here

and my scars do not own me

they don’t define me

they are not me

they are merely a part of my story

 

I will never be ashamed of my scars

they show who I am

a warrior

a fighter

a survivor